You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We had sex on a dog bed..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
