I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
