p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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