Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
