im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
