I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
