Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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