He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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