I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
