So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
is it fun? or sober?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
