Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
