if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
