They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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