the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Panties = found
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