it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize