all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
