none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize