why do cheetos always look like penises
she peed on how many people?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
