week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
