so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
