just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
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My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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