false alarm. still invincible.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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