I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
