strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.