I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner