I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
