ADVERTISEMENT

• (816): View more from Missouri

  at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?

  Fav 13 3599 1253

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.

  Fav 8 1733 3520

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (760): View more from California

  He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?

  Fav 6 3555 1190

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.

  Fav 5 2887 1552

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (949): View more from California

  My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit

  Fav 11 4342 1152

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.

  Fav 1 1592 736

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (507): View more from Minnesota

  My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.

  Fav 8 1040 1508

  share tweet
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  How was the party last night?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.

  Fav 3 797 1134

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.

  Fav 1 489 889

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (415): View more from California

  Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?

  Fav 2 1055 554

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time

  Fav 0 764 496

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (727): View more from Florida

  I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.

  Fav 2 205 328

  share tweet
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.

  Fav 5 401 283

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.

  Fav 1 106 65

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (623): View more from Arizona

  I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.

  Fav 1 96 3

  share tweet
  

Randomize