I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
