it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
