Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
