one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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