I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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