She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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