I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
