so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
