Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just want nice things and good sex
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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