I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
