sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
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The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
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There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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