guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
