Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
