Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
