Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
As shirtless as possible
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
