I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
