I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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