Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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