fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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