I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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