What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
someone owes me an orgasm
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
