4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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