I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I deserve this hangover.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
