My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
