I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
