It's Friday. Sex?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
