Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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