I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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