He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
