Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
