xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
even my farts smell like vagina
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
