i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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