so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
