just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
