Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
