You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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