so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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