Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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