I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
