ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
